he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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