Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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