Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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