apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
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She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
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Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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