So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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