Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
