This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
