spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
