So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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