Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize