we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
