woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
