New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
