I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
