I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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