No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
