I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
third nipple confirmed
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
