I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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