when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
