return my video game
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
