glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
