Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
