You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
