I wish i was in the wii world.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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