so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
