Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
