It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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