lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
