you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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