apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
