We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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