Welp...herpes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
