you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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