I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize