Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
