Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
