I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
