what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
