Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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