dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize