Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
