She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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