Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
