Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
