ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
