Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
