Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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