A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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