I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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