How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
