i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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