There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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