hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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