Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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