It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
