Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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