I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
