All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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