Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
