Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
