Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
