one might say we're banned from that church
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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