I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
