so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
