i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
