i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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