These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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