I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
