Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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