the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
