Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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