tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
