genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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