I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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