This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
